Hallelujah! Zoogz and I have finally completed a new MSTing! Yayyyy! To check it out, visit the following link: http://www.nabiki.com/mst/recent/find3k1.txt
Also, I've completed work on no less than sixteen new Rifftrax QnD reviews which can be accessed below. Any and all feedback is much appreciated as always!
"Drugs Are Like That" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- I really have to question the wisdom of producing an anti-drug short featuring two kids COKED OUT THE ASS. Seriously, these kids HAD to be on something as they struggle towards a coherent thought and barely mumble their way through some sort of bizarre analogy with Lego and drugs. Apparently, much like patriotism, drugs are everyone, everything, everywhere. They are the alpha. They are the omega. They are... like that. As for the Rifftrax, it's pretty decent with the riffers being frequently bewildered with the short and quickly losing patience with the brain dead brats. Recommended.
"Buying Food" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- Yes, apparently people had to be told how to food shop back in the day too. What's next, Centron? A short on how to scratch yourself? Actually, at this point, that wouldn't surprise me. Anyway, this is another hilarious short that makes a excellent companion piece with 'Cooking Terms' as food is hastily bought, cruelly wasted, harshly judged and subjected to a staggering amount of superfluous investigation. Very highly recommended.
"The Trouble with Women" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- Ever see that old episode of Family Guy where Mr. Weed shows Ms. Ironbox the work training film from the 1950s that was blatantly sexist? Well, that's pretty much this film in a nutshell as it tells us that women are a huge pain in the ass to train on the job but it's still YOUR responsibility to do so, so suck it up, man. As you might expect, the trio just go way over the top with this one mocking the attitudes and characters in the film "You probably left bra marks on the table!" and it makes for a short but very amusing Rifftrax. Highly recommended.
"It Must Be The Neighbors" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- For some reason, I keep thinking of the phrase 'It Must Be The Pretzels!' whenever I see the title. Anyway, this short features fugly neighbors bickering over who's the least responsible for the possible influx of mosquitoes, rats and bugs due to their combined laziness. Naturally it's up to their super kids to keep the peace by forming a mob and cleaning the fuck out of everything till their parents get their collective butts in gear. After all, without video games and cable TV to entertain them, what the hell else were kids gonna do back then? The riffing for this was pretty good and I was entertained. Recommended.
"Going Steady" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- This was yet another short on dating, this time asking if going steady is worth the hassle or not. Surprisingly, most opinions expressed in the short seem to lean toward the negative, even the parents of the middle aged kids. This Rifftrax was all right for the price, nothing special but not bad either. Recommended.
"You And Your Family" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- This brought back fond memories of the MST3K classic short 'A Date With Your Family'. And while it's only 7 mins long, it was pretty funny and I think worth checking out. Highly recommended.
"Primary Safety: In the School Building" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- Ahh, this was great. I remember having to watch films like this back in grade school. Of course we welcomed any chance to take a nap back then. Seriously though, this short was almost non-stop laughs as some poor kids is forced to pass judgment on his classmates for minor infractions to achieve the greater good of nurturing future generations of anal-retentive neurotics. Very highly recommended.
"Cooking Terms" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- I watched this short before 'Buying Food' and I have to say it's one of my all time favorites. Poor little Margie is cruelly lectured by the narrator when she makes a mistake on her husband's dinner/dessert and shamed into learning proper techniques like how to sheep, boil water and the all important soft ball lesson of cooking. Needless to say, the trio pummel this short mercilessly with hilariously scathing sarcasm, making this one of my favorite Rifftrax shorts. Very highly recommended.
"Casablanca" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- Mike starts off this Rifftrax explaining that he, Kevin and Bill took on this classic film as a personal challenge to test their skills, which I can relate to and greatly respect considering some of the fanfics I've MSTed over the years. And how did they do? Pretty well actually. The riffs here are definitely more of the light and playful persuasion than the sarcastic and brutally funny humor they save for movies like 'Twilight'. They did rely on random pop culture references a bit too much in some spots but I found it mostly forgivable considering the difficulty of riffing one of the greatest films of all time. In conclusion, this Rifftrax makes a nice companion piece to the film, just be sure to watch the film first if you've never seen it. Recommended.
"The Room" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- "Oh hi, Rifftrax fans!" Hoo boy... this film is pretty much a glorified softcore porn, elevated by a mind-bogglingly goofy script and starring a long haired Euro weirdo with an accent even more incomprehensible than Jean Claude Van Damme, Tommy Wiseau. Tommy is apparently aspiring to be Orsen Wells by also writing, directing and producing this film but he's far closer to Ed Wood Jr., despite the lack of any crossdressing... that we're aware of. The man simply exudes limburger with every line he utters. All three of them. Over and over and over again. "Oh, hi, repetition!"
Anyway, you would think this would make for a pretty funny Rifftrax. And yeah, for the most part, it does. They tend to riff on Tommy Wiseau a bit too much, not that it isn't well deserved but it does get a bit tired after a while. Where I felt the Rifftrax really stumbled though was whenever they had to riff any sex scenes. I realize it can be difficult to riff on basically the same sex scene repeated about five or six times over the course of the film with little variation and that Mike Nelson is personally uncomfortable with scenes involving sex and nudity in them but their solution of having Disembaudio show up over and over with his friends and family being as loud and obnoxious as possible was frankly downright painful to listen to and I really hope they can come up with a less irritating solution next time they tackle scenes like that.
Overall though, I'm still recommending 'The Room' Rifftrax for the price and the movie as a whole but you might find yourself turning the volume down at times. Fair warning.
"Back to School with Joan Miller" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- Girls Gone Plaid!
This is another short that would've worked well on MST3K as we're forced to watch model after model smile through their pain as they parade their hot naked wrists for our pleasure while draped in endless variations of plaid, the epitome of high fashion... if you believe Joan Miller who couldn't even be bothered to show up for this thing. The short runs twenty minutes and is generally repetitive but to their credit, the riffers do a pretty good job keeping things interesting and funny throughout. Recommended.
"The Bill of Rights in Action" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- This is one of those shorts that asks a question and expects you to come up with an answer. In this case, does freedom of speech grant a Nazi the right to praise Hitler while standing in front of a Jewish temple? The short is pretty straight forward and not really all that goofy, and while the riffers do get some funny lines in, I found it an odd choice for a Rifftrax. Still, I did enjoy the jokes, so recommended, I guess.
"Shake Hands with Danger" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- This short from the 70s is apparently still in use today and shows the dangers of being rock stupid on a construction site, with each work related accident being followed by an addictive little song that you'll have stuck in your head for weeks afterwards. Trust me. It's also cheesy as hell and the trio do a great job riffing it. Very Highly Recommended.
"The Tale of Moose Baby" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- Oh MAN... normally I'm not a fan of films involving animals but the first few minutes of this short had me laughing so hard, I thought I was going to pass out! That made it worth the 99 cents right there. The rest of the short wasn't quite as gut-bustingly funny but still good overall with the editing jokes, constant ribbing of Moose Baby and the last minute or so had me giggling for another five minutes straight. Very Highly Recommended.
"Flying Stewardess" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- Wait, they used to have pull out BEDS in airplanes!? Bring them back! NOW! OK, OK, to business. This 1950 short basically tries to convince women how wonderful and fulfilling it is to be a stewardess instead of a dumb old pilot. And according to the short, most stewardesses get married within a mere THREE years so apply now, you lucky dames and be sure to brush up on your sailing and ping pong if you ever hope to land a man! Sarcasm aside, this 11 min short is nicely roasted by the trio. Recommended.
"Constance Bennett's Daily Beauty Rituals" w/ Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy & Bill Corbett. -- Five minutes of watching a woman putting on makeup and taking a ba? Sure, why not? And who the hell names their child, Constance? Anyway, this woman is more than happy to lead us through her morning routine, but before you know it, it's a quarter of eight and she's dressed to serve her lord and master (her exact words) also known as her son. Yikes. While this short's pretty short, the riffing is pretty damn funny for those five minutes and worth checking out for 99 cents, IMHO. Highly recommended.